Case 26 PEX 0001   Document 1   Filed 10/31/26   Entered by: You, voluntarily   SATIRE
PEPTIDEEXHIBIT A

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF YOUR GROUP CHAT

EVERYTHING YOU EVER POSTED, Plaintiff,

v.

YOU, Defendant.

Case No. 26 PEX 0001

MOTION TO JOIN PEPTIDE EXHIBIT A

The peptide social app where every post is admissible.

Share your stack with thousands of strangers, in writing, forever. Tell your story once and hear it read back slowly by someone who charges by the hour.

Join the Record

Free. Your posts, however, are forever.

Feed3
A paralegal liked your post.
JM
jake_maxxing2 h · Location shared

Before vs after. Never thought I'd be posting these side by side 😤

A man's gym selfie next to the same man sweating at a deposition in a suit
EXHIBITS 112 A, B
Liked by opposing_counsel and 41 others
opposing_counsel Can you post the after in higher resolution?
TR
trish.researches5 h · Edited 3 times

Unboxing day!! Lot number clearly visible 📦

A hand holding a small vial labeled with a lot number over an open shipping box
EXHIBIT 113
All 3 versions admitted
court_reporter Noted for the record.
DB
dave.b9 h · Seen by 1 juror

Can everyone please stop screenshotting this?

EXHIBIT 114
Your request has been added to the screenshot.
KS
kels_stacks1 d · Location shared

Fridge organization finally done. Roommate has been warned 😂

A fridge door shelf with a row of small vials and a sticky note that says do not touch
EXHIBIT 115
opposing_counsel Is the roommate available to testify?
Your ex screenshotted your post. Your ex's lawyer screenshotted the screenshot.
ML
marco.logs1 d · Pinned

My system. Every order, every date, every seller. Four years of it. Happy to share the template!

A laptop showing a huge color coded spreadsheet next to a coffee mug
EXHIBIT 116
Downloaded by subpoena_bot and 3 law firms
opposing_counsel This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for us.
BB
brittany_b2 d · Location shared

Package came a day early!! Tracking label in the pic if anyone wants to check the shipping speed

A small mailer package on a doormat next to a man's sneakers
EXHIBIT 117
process_server On my way.
TJ
tj.optimizes3 d · Poll

Should I tell everyone exactly what I use it for?

Yes, in detail92%
No8%
EXHIBIT 118
Poll closed. 12 jurors voted.
JK
jessie.k4 d · Group chat

Ok who in the group chat hit Export???

EXHIBIT 119
cooperating_witness 👀
You're all caught up. So is opposing counsel.
Figure 1. Demonstration evidence. Scroll the feed. Exhibit numbers real.

Everything opposing counsel needs, paid for by you

EXHIBITB

Auto Exhibit

Every post, photo and comment gets an exhibit number the second you hit share. Our members have contributed over 4.8 million exhibits. Not one of them was asked.

EXHIBITC

Screenshot Custody

We keep the original, the crop, and the version you sent your friend with "am I cooked" underneath. Chain of custody has never been this convenient.

EXHIBITD

Statement History

Your original post, side by side with what you now remember saying. Timestamped, location tagged and notarized at no extra cost.

EXHIBITE

Deposition Rehearsal

Practice saying "I don't recall" while your own caption plays on a screen the size of a garage door.

Q. Is this your account?

A. I don't recall.

Q. Your username is your full legal name.

A. I recall.

EXHIBITF

Jury Preview

See how your post looks blown up in front of twelve people who had to cancel their plans. Now with Courtroom Lighting, our most popular filter.

POST DELETED

Your post has been removed from your view.

It has been promoted to everyone else's evidence folder.

Copies preserved14

Screenshots of you deleting it3

UndoNot available in this jurisdiction

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  • Unlimited posts
  • Unlimited exhibits
  • Screenshots by strangers, included

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$6.99 a month

  • Your full history delivered to opposing counsel the same day
  • Your emojis translated into words a court reporter can read without smiling
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Class Action

Per defendant

  • Bring your whole group chat
  • One shared exhibit list for everyone
  • Volume pricing on depositions

Testimonials entered into the record

I joined to find my community. Apparently we are being tried separately.

Witness 3, deposition page 41

Five stars. My post got more views at trial than it ever got on the app.

Witness 9, under oath

I deleted the post. They had the screenshot. They had the screenshot of me deleting the post.

Witness 12, sighing audibly

App Store rating: 4.9 stars. The last 0.1 is pending appeal.

Frequently asked questions

Is my data private?

Define private.

Can I make my account private?

Absolutely. The folder will be labeled PRIVATE when it arrives.

Can I delete a post?

Yes. It will reappear as Exhibit 4.

Do you sell my data?

Never. We hand it over. Selling would mean someone had to pay.

Is there a way to use the app without creating evidence?

Yes. Close the app.

Sign here

By tapping below you agree that anything you post can and will be used against you in a court of law, and also in the group chat.

Satire demo. No account is created. Nothing is collected or sent.

RECEIVED

Satire. Nothing was sent.